Desire.

Pray for…desire-
To pursue heaven’s face
Closed eyes, my prayers have been…
Nothing more than sleeping games
From a sleeping heart, tired of this name

I Found Love…

When my pursuits froze into place
When God meant nothing more to me
My faith fell asleep

When desires of fame became my life
When my world pushed my God aside
I was sleeping sound

When I was pouring gasoline
On bridges between God and me
When I was lost in sin
Heaven’s love came down for me
Heaven’s son he died for me
While I’m still a sinner now
I’m saved by grace
I’m saved right now

I Found Love-

So this is a song off my band Another Dream’s new cd.  It is the final track and it can be heard here.  It is the last song in the player.  Right now the whole album is streaming.

This is probably my favorite song on the whole album. A little bit of that might be because it was the last song I wrote for the cd.  We had nine songs recorded and wanted one more song, and for it to be just acoustic or something of the sorts.  I am just so proud of it though. I am proud of the whole cd actually. I can’t believe we wrote and recorded a full-length album.  That’s crazy! 

Anyways, track 9 on the cd is a song called I Found, which I wrote about 5 years ago.  The song has been recorded and played numerous different times and ways.  But we continue to play the song.  So when I was going to write a song for the last track, I looked I Found and just said to myself “Now, I Found was where I was at 5 years ago.  And I am still there, but what could I write about from where I am at today?”  So I sat down and wrote it.  It is like I Found Part II.  It is mostly in the same key, has the same words in the chorus, and is a similar theme – about God loving us despite our strides to look away from him. 

I was really proud of this song partly because I actually sat down with an idea of what I wanted and just wrote it.  Which is crazy for me.  There is a song on this cd that we had been playing for two years…and I didn’t finish the lyrics until after it was recorded.  It usually just takes me a long time…and many times when I am writing, I start jumping around in topics during the song…so it takes me even longer to piece all of that together or change stuff.  So I was super stoked that I just sat down and wrote it.  I think God has been blessing me with songs this last year, because there are 3 more songs on the new album that happened almost that exact same way.  I don’t know how I wrote like I did, but it just happened!  And, along with that, I have written about 6 other songs on my acoustic that were written in an hours time as call to worship songs for church.  The only way this can happen is that God wants to say things through me.  It is crazy.  I am not that good.  But with God I am that much better.

So desire was written at a times last winter when I just found myself not really wanting to take the time to continue to seek God.  I wasn’t at a point where I wanted to throw in the towel or anything like that.  I loved God and I still do.  I just had no desire to sit down and read or study or pray.  It was wierd though.  Because I was praying that God would give me a desire to seek him every day.  And I truly wanted that, and truly wanted to seek God…but I couldn’t.  I still don’t quite understand it, because I still felt God’s prescence, and I wasn’t doubting him at all either. I just wasn’t quite there.  So, in the midst of that, I was able to write this song.  As all my songs are, it’s an honest piece of my heart.  A look into who I am. 

My prayer with this song is that people will hear it.  They will be drawn to God through it. When they hear it they will start praying for that desire to seek God as well.  They will understand that we all have sinned, we all continue to sin, but God still loves us.  God still forgives us.  God still is willing to pull us back to him.

I think I could write and write about how God loves us and try to encourage people who may not desire God at the time, but want to.   But I will stop there for today. 

I did actually get a look into who I am yesterday…I have what is called Hyper Focus…and it basically means that at certain times I will get really into something and put all my energy and focus into it.  Sometimes that focus will bring me to the end of a project and sometimes it won’t.  If it doesn’t, many times I will abandon it until I gain that drive again.  A typical look at this is just my desk.  I like to keep it clean, but it is usually messy.  Then I will get in the mood to clean it up, and I will clean it and it will look nice for about a week…then it gets messy again.  and the cycle continues.  Just this morning, while I was typing about my faith a little bit, I put that together with the way I am in my faith.  I am hyper focused.  That explains a lot…

That’s all.

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Published in: on August 27, 2009 at 6:55 am  Leave a Comment  

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